Beyond "Work-Life Balance"
How to Thrive in This Fragmented World?
TL;DR: Work-life balance may be holding you back.
In the intersection of work and personal life, the work–life balance is the equilibrium between the two.
— Wikipedia on Work–life balance
The concept of work-life balance has become a cornerstone of modern professional discourse, especially since the COVID pandemic. Work-life interface has become increasingly boundary-less and technology-enabled. Lots of work can now be completed at any time and in any location, removing the natural work-life boundaries.
Of course, there’s tremendous value in learning how to set boundaries that enable us to find harmony between our professional ambitions and personal lives. Yet, for many of us, this delicate balance remains a pain in the butt to manage. Despite our best efforts, we often find ourselves struggling to maintain clear boundaries between work and personal life, leading to stress and dissatisfaction. Furthermore, we beat ourselves up for being unable to achieve such a balance.
But what if the problem isn't our inability to achieve balance, but our relationship with the concept of work-life balance? Consider these questions: What do we actually want when we strive for work-life balance? What are we protecting in the effortful pursuit of balance?
Questioning the Assumptions
Many of us believe that achieving work-life balance will provide peace, satisfaction, and fulfillment. We want to have ample energy for both professional and personal pursuits
However, the path we tend to imagine is a life where work doesn't intrude on our personal time, where personal life doesn’t bleed into our work. This view of work-life balance presents work and personal life as separate, competing entities.
What's the most common question when people are having work-life balance issues? Often, it's some variation of "How can I spend less time working and more time on my personal life?" In other words, we assume that time and energy devoted to one area necessarily detracts from the other.
In the 2007 paper “Introduction: What work? What life? What balance?”, Eikhof, Warhurst, and Haunschild highlight a crucial flaw in the traditional framing of work-life balance: it tends to cast work as a negative force that causes stress and unhappiness, while personal life is seen as inherently positive and fulfilling.
On the other hand, there are also many people who view work as a source of great satisfaction and personal growth, but dread returning to their personal life because it is full of persistent boredom and challenging relationships.
In both cases, by setting up a false dichotomy, the concept of work-life balance may actually hinder our ability to find true fulfillment and meaning across all aspects of our lives.
After all, what do we actually want when we strive for work-life balance? Is it really about perfectly dividing our time, or is it about finding fulfillment, purpose, and well-being in all areas of our lives?
From Balance to Integration
In our pursuit of balance, we're often trying to protect our sense of control, our boundaries, and our idealized vision of how life "should" be. Deep down, we may be protecting ourselves from the discomfort of integrating different aspects of our lives.
An alternative approach, proposed by Morris and Madsen (2007), suggests viewing work and personal life not as separate domains to be balanced, but as interconnected systems that can be integrated. This work-life integration model opens up new possibilities for how we conceptualize and navigate our professional and personal lives.
What happens to the question of work-life balance when we can fully be ourselves in both work and life? It transforms. Instead of asking how to balance competing demands, we might ask:
How can my work enrich my personal life and vice versa?
How can I bring my whole self to both my professional and personal endeavors?
What values and purposes do I follow in both my work and personal life?
Here's what work-life integration might look like in practice:
Recognizing Interconnectedness: Instead of trying to maintain rigid boundaries, acknowledge how your work and personal life influence and enrich each other. Embrace the complexity of where one ends and the other begins.
Aligning Values and Purpose: Seek ways to express your core values and sense of purpose both at work and in your personal life. Allow this alignment to evolve naturally over time.
Embracing Fluidity: Allow for natural transitions between work and personal activities, recognizing that creativity and productivity don't always follow a 9-to-5 schedule. Be open to the unexpected ways different parts of your life might blend.
Holistic Skill Development: Recognize how skills developed in one area of life can benefit other areas, and actively seek opportunities for this cross-pollination. Approach this as an ongoing exploration rather than a fixed goal.
The Path to Wholeness
Young children don't compartmentalize their experiences into "work" (learning, playing) and "life." For them, it's all living. They bring the same curiosity, engagement, and authenticity to everything they do, and they grow incredibly fast.
Shifting from a balance-focused mindset to one of integration is a necessary path for those on a journey of self discovery. It requires ongoing reflection, adjustment, and sometimes, a willingness to loosen the grip on one’s own identity, to be open to questions unanswered (Free From Answers). And when we commit to this new paradigm of living, we make space for truly invaluable things in life: GAME (Gifts Allowing Massive Enjoyment).
Here are some gifts this work-life integration approach can provide for us:
Authenticity: By integrating work and personal life, we can be more authentic in all areas of our lives.
Flexibility: Integration allows for more natural transitions between work and personal activities.
Growth: Skills and insights from one area of life can enrich others when we stop compartmentalizing.
Purpose: We can align our actions across all areas of life with our core values and sense of purpose.
Presence: Instead of always thinking about the other "side" of life, we can be more fully present in each moment.
Wholeness: Instead of feeling torn between different aspects of our lives, we can work towards a sense of wholeness where all of our experiences and roles contribute to our growth and well-being
As you reflect on your own approach to managing work and personal life, consider:
What is my relationship with Work Life Balance?
What would happen if I was fully myself in work and life?
How can I be 10% more authentic in work and life?
An Invitation to Explore
If the ideas in this article resonate with you, I invite you to take the next step in your journey towards integration and wholeness. I’m a transformation coach, currently developing my unique coaching practice guided by the Free From Answers (FFA) philosophy.
What is Free From Answers?
FFA is not about finding the right answers. Instead, it's about allowing the questions in life to move through us and unbind us from limiting assumptions, beliefs, and patterns. It can look like:
Embrace uncertainty as a source of possibility
Question assumptions and explore new perspectives
Focus on the process of discovery rather than fixed outcomes
Develop emotional intelligence and holistic awareness
Reconnect with our innate power and resourcefulness
How Can Coaching Help You?
Through our work together, you'll have the opportunity to:
Develop a more playful and curious approach to challenges
Cultivate a deeper sense of purpose and authenticity in all you do
Your Next Step
I invite you to schedule a complimentary 30-minute exploratory call. This is a chance for us to connect, discuss your current challenges and aspirations, and see if coaching aligns with your needs. During this call, you'll experience a taste of the FFA approach.
To schedule your call, visit my calendly link (email me if you can’t find a good time).
References:
Eikhof, D. R., Warhurst, C., & Haunschild, A. (2007). Introduction: What work? What life? What balance? Employee Relations, 29(4), 325-333.
Morris, M. L., & Madsen, S. R. (2007). Advancing work-life integration in individuals, organizations, and communities. Advances in Developing Human Resources, 9(4), 439-454.